Leave Without a Trace
The most dreaded thing has already happened. I tried relaxing and staying calm but it still occurred. I guess it’s inevitable I just didn’t want to believe it. I’m now officially and ultimately burnt-out! I’m all used up, all of me: body and mind. Good thing that I still get to keep my soul. That’s the reason that I wasn’t able to update my blog for a month! It’s the longest blog hiatus that I’ve gone through. And I don’t know if I’m really back now, well I sure hope so. I usually don’t have the strength and the energy to do any more write-ups after coming home from work. It’s really crazy at the office these past five months. They’ve got “great expectations” of us that are both impossible and unfeasible. We are afraid that we’ll be failing them sooner or later. So many things to do but so little time allotted. I feel like a zombie, still moving but really dead. I don’t know what they really expect us to do. I know that with the economic slowdown being experienced all over the world, we really need to maximize our manpower and utilize all our resources to still deliver good results and in return more ROI (READ: Return of Investment) of course but I don’t think it’s happening. They are just too bull headed to accept that. People are tired for Pete’s sake! Worn out to say the least. How can you function well if your physical body and mind are already screaming in protest? Every fiber in my being is exhausted. I don’t know if I can still bear it. I don’t know if I can still be a willing accomplice to the “crime” they are committing against people who trust and continue to be loyal to them in spite and despite of everything. I’m hanging by a thread, my sanity that is. I’m torn between something that I don’t want to do anymore but I have to and something that I really love to do but too scared to even try. My daughter and my husband are the only people that’s keeping me sane right now but I’m still frightened that when the time comes that I can’t really take it anymore I’ll just pack my things and leave without a trace.
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